Wilma

INTRODUCTION

My name is Wilma. I'm from South Sudan. I am a single mother of seven since my husband was killed as a result of the violence in South Sudan. I lost my family for some time due to the violence. My children don’t even know much about South Sudan because of this fighting. Their father died, and I am the only one left to care for them. I have six children with my husband, and one just came by.

My husband was the one who took the children to school. He was a businessman, and when he returned, we would be together. The life in South Sudan was good at that time. However, people were sent to kill us and our children. That is why I had to come to a camp. I fled from South Sudan to Kampala. At that time, my husband was working. He brought us to Kampala for school because there were no schools in South Sudan. When he returned, they killed him. After his death, people were sent to kill us as well, so I fled here with the children. Right now, my life I don't know. Since he was killed, no one can help me with anything, even school fees or food. I'm the one to struggle.

Life in Uganda is very difficult, especially here. No one you can go to for help can help you; when you go with your problem, that person will tell you about their problem, which might be even bigger than yours. Currrently, I have no work. I wake up each day, do house chores and take care of my baby. Sometimes, I buy fish, fry it, and sell it in town along the road. I make and tie them in small bundles to sell on the roadside. I also sell charcoal, but there are few customers, and I lack the capital to sustain the business. The fish business has its seasons. It’s not something you can do from December to December. There are times when there are no fish. The same goes for charcoal. During the rainy season, there is no charcoal. Sometimes, after working for a week, the money runs out quickly, and I have to wait to get another opportunity. In South Sudan, I didn’t have work; I just stayed home because my husband didn’t want me to work. I was taking care of the family while he was working.

THREATS AND DISPLACEMENT

I was worried because they were looking for us to kill us. They claimed my husband was a businessman, and i think they wanted money from me. After they gave us land, even in the bush there, when I went to clear it, someone came with a panga, saying, "This is my land." I just came back. I have no peace in my heart. Right now, I don't even have land. This isn't even my place. They are just helping me to stay in this house. I don't have a place, a garden, or a house. At any time, the owner could come and say they need their house. I have nowhere to go with the children. I don't know, because they say my husband is a businessman, and I think they want

EFFORTS TO SURVIVE

I worked in a salon and washed clothes for people, going from home to home. My firstborn, now 24, doesn’t work, and none of my children have jobs. After their father was killed, they stayed home for a year with no school. The school fees is a problem. However, for the first born girl, she was sponsored by Indians and now she is a student studying for psychology but because of Covid she is not in school.

During the period of COVID-19, I was as well working at a salon but while hiding because of the curfew put. I used to walk for long distances as there was no transport, no vehicles we are going by foot as well as coming back late in the evening. One of this evening is when I faced an ordeal with the soldiers who ended up sexually assaulting me and that is how I ended up having the baby that am taking care of right now..

Sometimes if I just think a bad happen to me, I feel bad. I tried to kill myself, but God doesn't want to take me, because the life is not easy for me. The church is helping me if not, I couldn’t manage feeding that baby. Because right now no food, no what. The food they are giving us is small, it cannot sustain us for two months, because they are giving us for two months. Sometimes we sleep hungry, no food, no charcoal. The life is not easy. Am here because of Lina, the way you are seeing me sitting here. If not her, I don't know where I could be right now. The time I was pregnant she would come here all the time, even at night, to come and talk with me. Morning before going to work, she would first come and check on me, to talk with me. If I don't have something, she would try to buy for me and up to now I am fine, the baby is here, but now taking care of the babies is the problem.

The only challenge am facing right now is the one with children, no school fees, no house. Even I don't have garden to dig. I don't have any business. Just sitting waiting this small food for UN. It's once for two months. Then the ratio was cut. It's very little. It even doesn't reach two months.

LINA’S POINT OF VIEW

She jumped into the ambulance and then that was the first time I talked to her, because I could see her before, but we were not talking much. We were not close to each other. There was the time I met with her, I asked her, "It's like I saw somebody like you in the OPM. Were you the one climbing the ambulance? Were you the one or it was a different person?" Then from there she said, "You mean you saw me." I said, "Yes. It's like I saw somebody. I don't know whether you were the one or it was a different person." From that time she didn't want to open up to me. I said, "It's like you were the one." She said, "Now, you have heard." I said, "What? I didn't hear anything." She said, "No, tell me the truth. Have you heard something?" I said, "No, I've not heard anything." She said, "Okay."

She kept quiet, because we were among so many people. When some other people somehow disappeared, because it was a function, she got closer to me, she told me she was the one. Then she started telling some stories about her life. It was very brief. I told her, "It's okay. I will get time and come to you." That was the time I came to know her better. I followed her. I asked her about where she stayed and then she showed me, and then I had to come to her home try to take time with her to ask her what happened? I told her about our organization, the work I do, then I assure her with confidentiality, so she also open up. She told me what she has said here.

What she said before about the children, when she came here, it was the husband who brought them here to Kampala whereby they started living in there. But the husband also left her there. And then also they killed the husband. Then, from there life was so hard for her. She could move house to house, like what she said, to wash, to get something for children, what to eat, up to the time even renting was a problem to her, the time she narrated to me. It was very hard for her. Then she moved to maybe sisters' place where she was offered some work.

During the time I met her, when I could come she was just ever inside and ever crying. I even didn't know that she was pregnant. She would go to crying, then she goes, "Tell me what to do." She was planning many things. She could ask other people, other people also give their views. She goes or she can do what. One time even wanted to hang herself, but I tried with her not do that till the time God made for her. Then she delivered well, a baby girl.

What she said before about the children, when she came here, it was the husband who brought them here to Kampala whereby they started leaving in there. But the husband also left her there. And then also they killed the husband. Then, from there life was so hard for her. She could move house to house, like what she said, to wash, to get something for children, what to eat, up to the time even renting was a problem to her, the time she narrated to me. It was very hard for her. Then she moved to maybe sisters' place where she was offered a job.

She told me about the work she was doing. Then when she get that little money, she sends the neighbor who was taking care of her kids, so those ones she left behind to help them with the upkeep, and also trying to pay others to school. She was there till when this Corona started. It's like she lost that work with the sisters, and then she started now looking for where to go. She got with salon plaiting where she went. By coming back late evening, men drag her somewhere and rape her. She was also kidnapped and God helped her. She took some few days, somebody also helped her to come this way. That's what she narrated to you.

Still when I met with her, I had to take their case to our office, Y Global. Then from there our lead officer who gave us the referral. I had to fill the form, and I told her. I begged her. We went to the hospital whereby she started getting some treatment, because she was having some complications, a lot of pain, abdominal pain, and a lot of complications. She was given some treatment till the time she delivered. But she still complains, about having back pains and the says that all her joints pain. You can see her doing this and all this.

MEETING Y GLOBAL AND THEIR IMPACT

I never knew anything about Y global. I went to the police to explain my problem and an ambulance was called to take me to hospital. After I came back that’s when Lina started explaining to me how she had seen me in an ambulance. She explained to me about her work and the organization she was working with but i thought she was lying. I took some time to explain to her my problem because in my head i had two things already set up: terminate the pregnancy or kill myself.

After meeting her, she talked me through it. After she provided me with the letter to take to the hospital, there was a doctor there, Dr. Stella. She started talking to me and wrote a letter allowing me to go to the hospital. There was an office called DRC before, though I think they have changed now; they used to help people. I came with that letter, and they just kept telling me to come tomorrow, come tomorrow for help, but they didn’t help me with anything. After I delivered, she went there and said, "This woman is going to deliver now. She doesn’t have anything to cover the baby or to help with the baby." They just said they couldn’t help me. I told her to just keep working, and God will help the child now. I have removed that negative thought from my mind because I used to go to church and pray. Now I just pray, asking God to forgive those people and to forgive me. I am praying to have a house, a good house of my own, to stay in with the children, or to have a garden. Some money to start a business because I like doing business.

DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS

Right now if I get money, I just open my salon, because that's the thing I like. I just need a startup business and then I can do the rest. I was as well able to see a counsellor and I'm now somehow better because my mind is now settled and my heart at peace. If I want to think about bad things, I just think about the way Lina is teaching me, about the way she's talking to me. I'm just saying that this life, even the short life, all will go.

Lina is family to me now, because anything, she's the one to help me. Even the time for pain, I say I don't want to go, let that baby just come out or I die, and she come here with the husband. The called ambulance, took me in the hospital, the time for pain. Three days I'm just at home with the pain. She's the one who come and force me in the evening. At that time also she have journey to go to Kampala. She took me to hospital and she called someone to come and help me in the hospital.

I have removed all negative thoughts from my mind because I used to go to church and pray. Now I just pray, asking God to forgive those people and to forgive me. I am praying to have a house, a good house of my own, to stay in with the children, or to have a garden. Some money to start a business because I like doing business.